Countrymen, the long experience of our late miseries I hope is sufficient to persuade everyone to a present correction of himself, And think not that either my pains nor the adventurers’ purses will ever maintain you in idleness and sloth…
…the greater part must be more industrious, or starve…
You must obey this now for a law, that he that will not work shall not eat (except by sickness he be disabled). For the labors of thirty or forty honest and industrious men shall not be consumed to maintain a hundred and fifty idle loiterers.
John Smith -Jamestown
So, if you are Jewish, are you allowed to play in Hamlet?
What kind of underwear does an attorney wear? Legal briefs!
What would Beethoven do when he had a cold? He would write a Snotta. (Sonata)
Everyone wants free samples, that is unless you own a stool factory.
At a septic tank truck convention, one septic truck was overheard commenting about another septic truck. “Don’t listen to him, he’s full of crap!”
What do you call an Eskimo woman’s breasts?
An ice chest!
Do you know where Kosher honey comes from?
What do you call a lesbian from Alaska? A Klondike!